There's Wifi in Purgatory

fortunatemind:

If youre my girlfriend then there is absolutely no need to get jealous because im probably obsessed with you

trelyon:

If zombies ever attack just go to Costco… they have concrete walls… years of foods and supplies… and best of all the zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership card

davidisbeyonce:

You want a nose job? Sounds a little kinky but ill give it a go

pluteum:

do not date people like me…i will take you to art museums and laugh at all of the private parts on the white marble statues

poopflow:

wifihotspot:

*winks at u w/ both eyes* date me 

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kevdied:

i dedicate this boner to u

deaneggsandsam:

when u sneeze in front of your pet and they look like you’ve just offended their great ancestors

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one-after-nineonine:

i did a push up why am i still fat

gay8:

there is a 42069% chance there is an immature joke hidden in this post

avoxia:

omG jeNNIFER SAID PIZZA?? pIZZ A ?? om g she ‘s one of uS!!!!!!!!!no diets???she lilkes FoOD??!!QUEEN!!soo t umlbr!!!!!!!!!specia l

warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

rimmel-and-reeses:

gothiccharmschool:

skelepoison-spooks:

IT HAS BEGUN

THREAT LEVEL PUMPKIN

my time is coming

jamesmccloud:

this man is an adult

frosty-flames:

Since us bisexuals, asexuals, and pansexuals don’t exist, laws do not apply
Rob a fucking bank, if you don’t exist they can’t arrest you